A close friend to my Dad passed away this morning, in his sleep, in the hospital bed. It saddened me deeply.Surely it will affect Dad as well because Dad told me sometimes ago that he was struggling to tell Dad something, but he could not. He could'nt speak anymore for quite sometimes. He tried to write his words down but his hand kept failing him. After several attempts, he gave up and look away, tears ran down his haggard cheek. And Dad look down, sharing his grief.I guess Dad will regret it for a long time, he kept telling us that he must had something in his mind that he wanted to share.
After a year of a real suffering, he passed on. After series of troll and saga he was called to his Creator.Well, at least it was the end for him.
I dont mean in anyways to talk bad things about Arwah, but I wish to share with my reader the facts of life , thru Arwah's storyline.
Years ago, Uncle L was a perfect father figure and an iconic husband. His family amazed everybody who knew him. He was a father of 9 (if I'm not mistaken). His wife adored him, a perfect loving couple in the eyes of the beholder. He was an established businessman, drove a Merc, live in a big bungalow, his better half is teacher, sweet, motherly and a nice lady.His children are a sweet docile lots.Always a better comparison to us, a bunch of four , but neighbours had always thought my parents had more than that judging by the noise we made. He seemed to be an envy to any man.
Until then...when he decided to take a second wife.
His decision surprised everybody including Aunty M who thought her dooms day had finally came. And his children was devastated. My self was no exception. I wanted to know his REASON for doing so as I dont see any.
He told Mom that there was nothing wrong with Aunty M, but it was meant to be. He fell in love, and was mesmerized by the woman's kindness in helping him in his business. Well that is not a satisfactory reason to any woman, a rather jahanam one infact, but I am glad that he was honest and he didnt t spread bad things about Auty M or using her as an excuse.
Aunty M came to my Mom's and confide to her, she even asked me for a legal advice (Me??? errrr) and the only thing I could tell her was she got to decide what she wants for her, and not to use her grown up children as an excuse or escapism. If she couldnt take it, she should asked him to let her go, because if she is not strong to face the turmoil, it will sinned both of them. And if she believed and trust him, love him, than she need to ask from Allah to bestow her with strengh to go on. Because there was no other things that can be done, HE HAD MARRIED the woman. I had to offer her a realistic advise and at the same time being sympathetic to her. If I would follow the setan in my gutts, I would have asked her to bring a parang and give both of them a silambam in the groin or print the biggest billboard ever at the North-South Highway saying "LAKI KU MIANG' with a gigantic picture of him. I did not, (well, after my Mom gave me a pinch on my thigh of course ewwww).
Their children went to Mom's for comfort and shoulder to cry on too. (No, my mom did not operate an agony clinic in her home, but yess she offer that kind of service FOC 24/7). I was there that time, in fact I was there when the whole episode took place since I was overhauling my allignment at her home (dalam pantang la labuu, in confinement). Gracious God I was not meroyan for having to console them. Not that I am complaining, but I share their sorrow deeply.I feel them honestly.
Another heart breaking news, the other woman is a sister to my dear juniour in Uni and she was my seniour as well. She was a divorcee with kids of her own. She had a fair share of sad story in life as well caused by a hang suah husband.
Was I am in dilemma or not ....
In short, Aunty M did the biggest turn in her life, she asked for divorce but her husband refused. She took a big step ahead and applied for a transfer down south. Her children followed her.
Uncle L was not himself since then. He gained a new family but lost his wonderful past. He could not erased them from his being, he missed them, long for them the entire time.
But his children had heart of stone , and their mother? Lagilah.
They just invited him to be a wali twice.
That just prove it takes a man who is man enough to practice polygamy, its not easy as it seemed. Uncle L was an Imam in our neighbourhood Mussola and Aunty M is a religious soul, but they were not tough enough to trail the path. It was not enough for Uncle L. He might thought that he had the means (as every man perasan they have) but in reality he might had just that but not the aura and will to do so. And perhaps it was just his ego and his attempt to test market.
Until he felt sick.
Until he took off this morning.
Life is not as beautiful as in Cerekarama or Vanavil where first wife and second wife repented and become best friend upon knowing their husband is dying.
In real life, they make a cerekarama of their own in the hospital room.
It was hideous.
I couldnt help myself thinking that had he not done what he had done , would his life be different? Would his death be of a different scenario?
Would he be missed more? Did he regret? Why was he not content with what he had? What more did he wanted? Was'nt it enough?
I think death is anticipated by him, to end his sorrow.And I do think his death ends a lot of things and not just misery alone, I hope it ends hatred and sarcasm as well.
And despite the many souls that he supposed to father and mate, despite the many being he try to unite in a marriage bond, he die alone.
Al-Fatihah. Rest in peace Uncle L.
* Hazrey, dont do this at home o, sengsara idup ko nanti.Menggatal je kat luar jgn bawak balik pompuan skirt merah kat umah ok, kudunng plak tangan ko karang.