Raden Galoh

Begitulah janji Allah, setiap yang hidup pasti akan merasai mati.

Salam Eja, thanx, akak x ok sis.

That was the last sms I received from her on 14th July. And I promised to go and visit her.

After Maghrib last night ,  tiba-tiba teringat sangat pada dia. I told my husband I want to see her one of these days. Sayu hati tiba-tiba, I recite the Quran and I didn't know why but I burst into tears all of a sudden.

This morning I came to know of her death.

Ya Allah, dari Mu dia datang kepadaMu dia kembali.

Kak D, as I fondly called her or Raden Galoh or Dalilah Tamrin has succumbed to cancer this morning.

Betapa bersyukur saya kepada Allah yang memberi kesempatan dan rahmat pada saya untuk mengenali seorang insan seindah dia.

The purest of heart, the kindest of soul, a real fighter, the most optimistic and positive person I ever known. She inspired people around her.

Learning of her story battling cancer, make me feel so ashamed of myself.

Betapa hebat dia diuju, tapi zikir dan tasbih tak pernah lekang dari ulas bibirnya, sedangkan saya menangis atas satu ujian yang maha kecil daripada Allah, rasa tak tertanggung walau hanya demam selsema, lupa kan Allah seketika bila kepala berdenyut.

Alpa pada hakikat bahawa ujian itu adalah tanda kasih sayang Allah pada hambaNya.

I've been to her blog for quite some time as a silence reader, admiring her courage. Not until my Abah was diagnosed with cancer, that I felt the urge to know her more.

I was lost since Abah was so put off by his sickness. I was so weak but yet I need to be his strengh.

Allah itu Ar Rahim, Dia temukan saya dengan dia. I borrowed a bit of her courage to support Abah. I lean unto her soothing words to mend my own broken heart.And i would always tell her stories to Abah, as to give him inspiration and I know that Abah was always so happy to hear the stories.

Walaupun kesempatan mengenali dia tidak lama, rasanya seolah berabad. She felt the same way about me. She even called me 'Adik', the only person who did that, and that felt so good coming from her.

I jokingly said , "Kak, maybe we were sister in the past life" hahaha (I know lawak tu adalah berbaur jahiliyyah, but forgive me, sometimes I can't control my words).

And I lost her today.......

Al Fatihah my beloved Kak D, bersemadilah dengan aman. Allah must have loved u so much, He ended your sufferings now.

He took you at the point of time where you are so loved and cherished by friends and families.

As u once said, your cancer is a blessing from Allah, had you not, you won't feel so close to Him, feel Him and love Him the way you loved Him.

And Kak, had U not "blessed" with the sickness, we might not had the chance to even meet a great person like U...

I love U Kak  D, as I told u always when I ended our conversation or sms, and U might indicates it as a mere cute gesture from me, but I meant it , from the bottom of my heart.

REST IN PEACE

(And I cant bring my self to tell Abah about this yet)

The Sacred Journey

We sent my dearest baby brother yesterday, he left for Makkah to work -sigh-.

I think he was thinking to sumbatkan my mom n dad dlm hand luggage dia tu kot if he can

Gonna miss him badly especially adengan membasuh otak beliau sebab being a bongsu dia adalah lagi manja dari kucing siam Atok depan rumah.

Helping him getting ready for Makkah, I yang rasa terribly sedih coz I'm missing Makkah too.

So repeatedly asked him to pray for us all dimurahkan rezeki nak pi lagi.

Me n Roberto went for our sacred journey  last two years. That time I tengah berdepan dengan ujian Allah yang maha berat, so I was cluless. Masa belum sampai rasa macam nak mintak macam-macam. But upon seeing Kaabah  in front of my very eyes, dummm I felt so small and  that I was nothing compared to the greatness of the Almighty. But He had given me so much . Terlalu banyak rahmat dan kasih sayang yang diberikan sehinggakan I rasa malu nak mintak apa2 pun .

The serene ambience of the Masjidil Haram was beyond compare. I couldn't asked for anything but in my sujud I only asked the best way and His guidance towards a blessed path.

I pesan banyak kali to him, my brother. Beware of what you said. Kat Tanah Haram macam2 boleh jadi.

I had experienced all the magical moments kat sana. All you have to do is Dua'.

There is no other place in the world that u can witness the miracle of dua' and feel the total submission to the will of Allah.

Everyday we walked to the Masjid and since jemaah wanita and lelaki tak boleh solat di tempat yang sama, kenalah berpisah.

But we never promised and decide our meeting place after solat, just janji on what time to go back to the hotel. And did not even bring our cells. After I've done, I will whisper a prayer while walking "Ya Allah, bagilah aku nampak suamiku" and every time I did that , toleh  nampak dia, either reciting Quran or wirid or just chit chatting with somebody. Walaupun beribu umat Muhammad kat dalam masjid tu, still I never lost my husband.

Once, I went to the loo through Door No.8 , and hati yang jahat ni keep on berbisik, macam mana orang boleh sesat kat dalam masjid ni? Sedangkan sikit punya besar nombor dia tulis kat every pintu. Sedikit perasaan berlagak di situ.

And tadaaaa Allah pun balas cash payment. I left my MIL near that door no.8, balik saja from the loo, I couldn't find that number 8 and no matter kot mana I dok pusing I ended up at door 9 and 10. As if door number 8 dah diangkat ke langit. Ok. Sangat takut dan insaf di situ. Nak nangess sudah.

After sujud syukur and ayaq mata yang berjuraian. I turned and saw that number 8 smiling happilly at me. PADAN MUKA AKU.

Designated tempat solat untuk jemaah wanita mostly jauh sikit dari Kaabah, except for this one area yang kecik betul2 depan Raudhah and selalunya kena berebut dengan mak Arab lah kalau nak squeeze kat situ, and have to beware of Mak Cik2 Turks yang bumper perdana v6 itew, many at times I solat sebelah depa, masa tahiyaat akhir, debub dia landing bumper dia atas kaki I, Masyaallah terpaksa regards the pain as kifarat dosa. Nasib baik tak tempang. Sekali tu pulak, ada jemaah ni masa sujud tersarung jubah mak cik kat depan dia, kauuuuu , struggle nak mengeluarkan diri.

So me  berusaha nak dapatkan tempat tu although my MIL tak brapa suka sebab kena menjadi ganas sikit nak memenyekkan diri di tengah2 mak-mak Arab yang multi coloured tu kan. Pastu, a few times, MIL mesti la nak pi toilet, especially bila dah dekat2 nak masuk waktu. Dah kalau pi toilet, kirim salam la nak dapat balik tempat kita tu. So I was quite tak puas hati lah ngan my MIL, ye ye derhaka dan keji.Don't do this at home.

Sebagai balasan, the next day at Subh prayer, I pulak kena. Lagi sekali PADAN MUKA AKU. Dah cun2 dapat tempat betul2 kat saf depan di kawasan yang sangat diidami itu, and lagi half and hour nak masuk waktu Subuh, perut I sakit macam nak beranak pun ada, sampai rasa nak guling2. Mencicit la pi bilik air and could'nt make it on time. Kot I lari sprint 50km sejam pun memang tak dan sebab toilet maha jauh. So I have to settle  kat  perkarangan Masjidil Haram tu saja.Pastu baru sebok nak manja2 balik ngan MIL.

One night, after tawaf sunat, tengah malam la jugak, ada sorang lelaki yang sangat indah rupa parasnya lalu depan we all , doing his round of tawaf. Handsome tak tau nak cakap and very2 tall. Yang peliknya, he had a kind of aura yang memukau semua orang yang ada di situ, mesmerizing, lelaki pun tengok macam takjub sangat tau, termasuk lah En Roberto. Kaum hawa apatah lagi kan. Subhannallah. I tak tau makhluk Allah kategori apa, tah 2 bukan manusia pun boleh jadi jugak, sebab I nampak dia satu pusingan pastu hilang. Takkan tawaf satu round saja.

Hopefully my brother adapt himself well kerja and dok kat sana. I cant tell him how lucky he is, that beribu umat Islam dok pulun nak pi beribadah di sana especially in Ramadhan, but he is already there. He can even state Makkah Al Mukkaramah as his current city of resident from now onwards. He will be working in the Raffles Hotel , at the brand new Mecca Royal Clock Tower, righ in front of Masjidil Haram, having the pleasure of waking up every morning by the azan coming from the Great Mosque , Masyaallah.

I know most moms mesti risau kalau anak especially the youngest one kerja jauh2, but my mom has been blessed with the fact that her baby is very near to the House of Allah, what more can she ask for kan?