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Sunday, November 8, 2009

Lawatan Muhibbah ke Labis

Ya Allah, lamanya tak balik rumah ni, bersawang-sawang ni ha...*sambil baca Ayat Kursiy , takot ada jembalang tumpang umah acik ni haa.
I tau ramai yang kecewa dan frustrated melihat DR tak update entry, alahai nakk, busy nau acik skrang...tambah2 nak buat career leap ni, adoiyai.

Once upon a time, a friend gave me trial vouchers not one but 3, for Slimming Session at Labis Weight Management (bukan nama sebenar) which entitled me to try 3 type of methods to get rid off the jembalang tanah dalam badan I ni.Uolzs tau la kan, tah saper lah yang santaukan I ngan Santau Lemak Tepu ni pun I tak taulah...sampai nya hatimu.

So I did went there sometimes in January. Being so gullible (and bongok) as I am always, I signed up for a few programmes for an amount which if En Kanda found out, I would have end up having a free liposuction programme by him.*buntang bijik mata. Abisss agak2 lah kalau dah dekat 40 kilo benda asing yang tak diperlukan dalam badan acik ni haaa, agak2 ler brapa helai duit RM50 yang diperlukan tu..Daging lembu hehari makan rumput tu pun RM18 sekilo, (abaikan fakta kepenggunaan saya jika ianya salah) apatah lagi daging orang yang makan chicken chop seminggu sekali neh.
To justify it, I would say, this Labis place, they offer a sauna treatment which I think other competitor did not. And they weigh us before and after the day's session and BINGO there would be at least 1kg drop (for me lah, usah korang saman plak kot kalau korang try jarum tu statik, ampun kan acik).On top of that ada lah heat blanket la bla bla bla which is ok caused it made me sweat. I need to sweat , because when I dont for 2 consequtive days, the toxin in my body would want to break free and as result I turned into a Raksaksa Laut yang bengis dan terlampau berkaler hijau campur purple.
After that I did went there a few times until my work and tight weekends had taken the better of me and I almost forgotten about the programmes.
Realizing the threadmill in my room is currently serving two purposes , i.e ampaian sejadah/telekung and an exercise machine, of which the former rules, I decided to claim the benefit I paid for since kepala otak aku weng semacam and I really need to unwind and rejuvenate. Better than buang duit in some spa , I better finish what I started.
I think Kak Naz of Serenity Now, had once told her 'wonderful' experience in a slimming centre and I conquered her judgement of what really pissed us off, the marketing strategy i.e product pushing.
Opssss kenapa aku boleh lupa pasal amoi2 cina ni punya marketing skill, tahan jelah walaupun mata dah ngantuk...rasa nak je aku sumbat mulut dia ngan tumit kaki.
So to those who think that my intention is to promote this place, sila angkat tangan.... tettttttttt wrong answer.
Acik hanya nak kasi pesanan pada anak2, this programme is ok especially pada pompuan pemalas macam I, TETAPI, if you decide to try, kita mesti mempunyai daya tahan terhadap penghinaan yang kental , jiwa yang kukuh, dan poket yang kebal serta hati batu. Equipped ourselves with perisai emosi.
Kenapa Akak DR??? tanya akak Teej of Senawang yang gigih juga pergi Mefest dulu (larikkkkk)
Kerana, mereka adalah KEJAM dan SADIS. Mungkin mereka pakai strategy komunis untuk mengorek duit kita beli produk mereka.
Kerana kita akan rasa kitalah makhluk paling hodoh dan buruk dan____ dan _____dan ____ lagi di atas muka bumi ini. (sila isi tempat kosong sendiri)
Bukan kerana kita mencik tau dengki pada muka mereka yang macam Altantuyah dan body mereka yang macam kerepek pisang nangka itew.
Kerana mereka akan mengeji lemak2 dan selulit kita secara kaw kaw seolah olah jika kita tidak menghilangkan benda2 tersebut dengan kadar segera, (menggunakan produk mereka la of course) perang saudara akan berlaku, atau Israel akan menyerang negara kita ini ....It was that intense I tell you.
Well at least that's how I felt.
Last time it was my weight yang menjadi isu hangat almost as hangat as Isu Pergolakan dalaman MCA dan PAS. Now since I managed to shed quite a number of kgs, they started to make fuss on different issues, of my toxin la , my flabby abs la and even my eye bag....hampagas btoi.
Suddenly I remembered this was the reason why I didnt appear for my treatments for soooo damn long. Dushhhhh. *hentok kapla di dinding
(*terbongkar rahsia that they did not manage to get any commision on every kg of weight loss I made because I was absent for almost 9 months and yet I still kuwus sket from the first time I went there, because It was due to customer's own effort as they called it, some sort like a Natural Calamity la in insurance claim, tarak boleh claim punya ha ha ha ha)

15 comments:

edelweiss said...

cik rose padang pasiaq...

dan chek nih mengikut nasihatmu yang mengatakan "hang tunggu dulu aku berjaya habiskan program tuh...baru lah hang pi"....jadik chek pun tak AKAN menjejakkan kai ke situ sbb tak sanggup mendengar kejian dan hinaan yang pastinya akan TERLAMPAU melebihi apa yang dilontaqkan kat hang....

oh tiidakkkkkk!!! chek tak sanggup !!!!!!!! buleh menangihhhhh dengaq kejian seperti itu...

chek akan berusaha cara chek senighi...bila nak mula wallahualam.

kay_leeda said...

Ohh...bab yg depa psycho kata yg tak enak-enak tentang badan kita tu, sungguh lah ku tahu. Been there done that. Now sesungguh nya ku takut nak lintas tempat-tempat cam gini. They all ni semacam ader mandrem nak suro kita part with our money. So selalu lah berhati-hati bila berdepan dgn kata-kata manis thy all tu. Klau boleh credit card tu...simpan bawah bantal. Jangan bawak!!

On a happier note, cam tak sabar nak tunggu the result of bakaran dari hot blanket tu. Sure mengancam gitu nanti...phewwwweeeettt :D

Hazrey said...

Did u use the lubricant yang aku bagi tu untuk masuk pintu labis slimming tu?

tireless mom said...

Hish... Kalau dalam fb, I akan mark "Like". You know what, I will print this and tunjuk kat Pusat Kecantikan Kulai yang juga selalu saya lawati. Make sure everytime they all nak sell something, saya sodok entry ini ke muka dia.

Puteri's territory said...

omigod! you too tertipu. Been there, done that too. I remember walking tall to the centre and I came out growing a horn. They made me super ugly mcm takdak harapan dah aku nak kurus sendiri. But it's all in you samada sanggup ke dak. Dia tak bg makan nasi langsung isshh i tak sangguplah bab tu. manaleh. orang melayu kena makan nasi woi.

Tijah said...

hahahaha!!!

kannn?? mefest adalah celaker ok. asal datang jer suh topap sana sini. ujung2 kena gak jaga makan suh minum air kosong 4 liter giler per? ingat pundi mak cam pundi unta?

kak wos said...

owh baru mak tawu..
kak teej rupernyer pelanggan meypes!
haros mak jaja kesah sensasi nih!
tp best la kowang..
buleh gak bermanja2 di tempat2 ekslusif.. aku nih setakat berlari setempat dlm umah jer!

Mrs Kamil said...

Finally entry baru !!!!

Aku tak pernah pi slimming spa sebab duit dalam poket tidak pernah membenarkan aku pi tapi aku pernah lah pi relaxation spa kononnya yang tak relax langsung sebab depa asyik suruh kita bagi duit kat depa... Aku memang tak suka !!!

Tijah said...

wos. aku taja ko pegi buat bres enhanser nak? pasnih tayah pakai sholder ped kat dader lagik. wakakakaka...

liadevega said...

ya ka seteruk itu depa mengeji? haram sungguh amoi2 ni...kalau aku pi sure depa mengeji gak...apa pasat lu banyak kulus amoi...mali saya tambah lemak mau aa? tatak mahal, 5 libu saja...

Encik Azrin Yang Garang said...

akakkkkkkkkkkkkkk!! kat mana nih!! saya nak saya nak.. tapi ini hanya untuk perempuan jer ker???

Lyana Mauseth said...

kalau depa hina aku siap la..aku pi bakaq kedai depa!

mamasita said...

DR..you ni kan, kalau sambil cerita main cakap kelakar yang I tak tahan..
Manalah you ada manyak sangat itu lemak..takde pun.

eynda said...

Ahahaha...macam eynda tau je labis ni kat mana...:-p

Ahkak...memang mula2 mulut diaorg manis...lepas 3rd sesi dah mula nak keji2 part2 badan kita yg berlemak tu...tahan je telinga...

Hari pertama jejak kaki cakap takmo paksa beli itu ini...sekarang dah mula paksa minum itu la ini la..if not berat tak turun...so adakah kita masuk program tu hanya utk minum benda tu je then kurus?? Baik pi beli kat farmasi pun ada jual :-p

Memang kena kuat semangat kalau nak join slimming center ni...dgn tohmahan diaorg tu..aihh..diaorg pun ada yg perut boncit gak..cover dgn baju maaa....kurus tapi perut boncit apa ke hal kan..

Eynda join slimming center tu memang sebab nak buang lemak la dah penat workout/diet hampehh jek...tapi nak cakap la kat diaorg sila buat keje dgn apa yg eynda bayar...enough...nak kurus tak kurus terpulang kat eynda gak kan..kalau eynda makan steak hari2 berbaloi kah masuk situ? heheh...

Ada gak rasa tensi masuk slimming center ni tapi sebab dah bayar banyak kuteruskan jugak...tunggu lagi 17 sesi apa nak jadi muahahaha...

Pendek citer jgn layan la amoi2 nih... :-D

Naz said...

Simpan duit tu and boleh makan nasi kandar 3 tahun!
Enjoy!!!