PERCUTIAN PENUH DERITA

A friend was saying how her kids preferred a peaceful balik kampung than a trip to Disneyland. *Usap kepala anak dia* Baguih sungguh anak-anak hang Pn Kamalai.

I dont know what went wrong, tapi anak2 I sangat mmmmm tah lah.Budak -budak sekarang (trying to pint point nak salahkan sapa ni ...ada volunteer ??)

When I was their age, balik kampung was something happening tak hengat lah, kalau Appa ajak balik kampung serasa Sorgaaa. Kalau balik his side punya kampung in Penanti (since PRU 12 can write down the name of the place without being asked haaaa where on earth is that ?) a trip from the main land to the Island of Penang naik ferry was considered a bonus for us.

But it was a different storey all together in Amma's side punya kampung in Naka, Kedah (u were asking where is this place?? Well google sebelum aku cakap korang tak belajar Geography).

For me heaven was running freely atas batas sawah,catching dragon flies,  cari siput sedut dalam petak sawah (errr although I tak la adventurous sangat and have to pakai rubber boots sebab takut lintah and have to menjahanamkan anak2 padi orang, ehh tu kan Tok aku punya bendang ?? So halal jelah kan).

Dulu lagi la jurasic. Malam2 siap guna lampu gasolin and ada pelita lagi tuh. I wonder how my kids would react. Tengok pelita masa time raya pun its like tengok Gaban yang jatuh dari kapal angkasa. Sangat takjub.

I so much wanted my kids to know and experience all that.But where to find a place similar to my childhood playground ?? My uncle has turned my Tok Wan's house into an eco tourism Resort. Good lah at least rumah tu terbela, Kalau bagi kat I, I  thought of converting the whole estate into a fun fair and that house into a haunted house, sebab dah lama tak berpenghuni so senang dapat hantu, original terbaik dari ladang .

So tiada lagi sawah bendang. Paling2 pun can petik buah - buahan like this in his dusun...(Caption Gambar : Senyuman palsu semata, padahal nak masuk kat semak sikit tu pun dah terjerit-jerit macam nampak T-Rex)

That's not real adventure. It all made up.

First attempt. We brought them to Appa punya dusun.

See the faces. Sungguh lah macam , kenapa aku dipaksa datang ke hutan belantara ni ha?? Ada lah lebih baik main farmville saja daripada cium bau taik lembu real di sini.

Their pants semua kena kemuncup , but they acted like they were bitten by a giant crocodile tu ha. Drama sungguh.
So I was like , ini tak boleh jadi. Kenapa anak2 aku sangat jakun ??

Must give them some lessons. Must expose them to nature.

So we took them to Ulu Yam, in one of the Resort. My brother being our partner in crime was being so skeptical,he  kept asking ok ke anak2 hang pi Resort Jin Bertendang ni??

I stick to my plan. The rotten the better.*Haahahahha gelak jin *.

This was the resort . Tah ape benda nama tah. The best part.....jeng-jeng. No electricity. Generator only operates until 11 pm and start balik around 6.30 a.m the next morning. In the meantime, gasoline lamp all the way.

And there was only bathroom in the chalet, toilets were at the common area nearby. Enough penyeksaan for the kids yang hanya tau tengok TV, main PSP , game boy, makan pun demanding, nak dok hotel yang ada swimming pool aje, nak apa semua bapak kasi macam la bapak tu ada bela dewa boncit kat rumah.

Altough mak bapak pun rasa cam ngeri tapi ketepikan perasaan2 tidak perlu itu demi anak-anak.

Boleh bayangkan lah muka penderitaan anak-anak I bila tengok the run down chalet tu. (I pun actually was gulping gak) Tak der lagi burok ke ha??

Mula2 masuk have to ubah suai the perabot dulu lah kan untuk kesejahteraan bersama.

So I get all my kids to help. TIBA-TIBA.........

Eh kenapakah I dok atas kerusi ni haaa?? And the kids bertaburan lari , huru hara macam tsunami.

Apa ke menatang yang melompat from the katil. Nasib baik la I brought my Supermom and Wonder Bibik to the rescue, nak harapkan Abng Roberto I tu? Huh, dia awal2 lagi larik dulu, padahal dia tak terbabit pun dalam adengan ubah suai tersebut.

Tau kah anda binatang atau raksaksa apakah yang telah mencopotkan jantung kami?

Eh idoklah menatang ni, melampau batas le pulok kan, bila pulok dia mai dari Loch Ness.Patut-patut la kome pun.

Ni ha. Haippp tutup mulut jangan dok gelak lebih2. Jangan mempermainkan perasaan I, nilah binatang  domestik yang paling I TAK SUKA sekali di dalam dunia ini. And I'm not talking just an ordinary lizard okay, ni BAPAK nyer cicak, kecik sikit je daripada biawak commodore (ok tipu, hell lah aku nak tenung2 dia dekat2)

Sungguh heavy drama incident tersebut kerana ianya berlaku 2 kali di dua chalet yang berbeza, ours and my Amma.Appa plak shared his unit with my two brothers.

In short, malam tu I dont think any of us had a good sleep, kalau tido pun maybe dicemari oleh mimipi2 ngeri.

In Mom's unit, ada sekor katak kembung yang refused to leave their room, opted to tertonggok kat belakang pintu, watching them sleep. Boleh ke ko tido ghoper itu?? According to my SIL yang tengah expecting masa tu, she went to the bathroom in the middle of the nite, when she came back to bed, that makhluk dah lompat to her side of the bed, hahhh ko. Guano tu. Seb baik minah ni cool , dia pi berhimpit bedside my aunt. Kalau I , mau aku start keta terus balik ghumah pukul 3 pagi tu.

In Dad's plak, ada makhluk asing ke hapatah yang berbunyi seperti kobau Tijah tercokik biskot mayat pun ada, sukar didefinisikan  bunyi-bunyian yang dihasilkan oleh 'mereka'.

In ours, dengan gigihnya aku angkat matress yang berat macam badak air tu letak dekat pintu, motif?? Senang aku nak lari kalau ada apa2 yang tetiba buat lintas langsung kat situ.

Mula2 En Roberto cam bising2 la apa tah minah ni suka buat hal tengah2 malam. Konon macam macho lah tido sorang kat atas katil because all the kids nak berhimpit ngan I jugak. Yelah of course lah mereka merasakan plan maknyer yang sangat bernas. Si Abang even suggested tidor dalam kereta , boleh? Last2 I dalam mamai2 tetiba I terasa kena peluk lah pulak kan. Bila masa tah dia join kite orang tu. Tak tahan daulat ko.

Akhirnya mentari yang dirindui sepanjang malam, muncul jugak, tak taulah bila masa we all tertido, we woke up to the smell of nasi lemak daun pisang. My brother yang tah tido tah idok malam tu, dah kuar2 subuh2 sepie tu looking for breakfast.

Upon checking out , met the owner of the place. Lied between my teeth all the way. "Best la bang, chalet abang ni" kata saya  (read : macam lahanat lah tempat ko neh apa ko tak penah cuci ke ?")

Abng Roberto Carlos "Dah lama tak rasa tido suasana kampung, tenang jer dengar bunyi cengkerik". Perghhhhh ayat tak ingat, tenang korok mu kalau semalam ko himpit aku sampai tak boleh bernapas tu apa kemendenya bang oii?.

Abang tu senyum sampai ke telinga, siap pesan "Nanti lawat lah website kite orang, kalau nak komen ke apa boleh lah kat situ"

Tu diaaa, siap ada web site lagi. I tak tau lah dia yang bela web site tu atau hantu2 dia yang tolong hapdate.

Apa-apa pun, we all had a good laugh and ada la kenangan jugak. Yang penting,  bila budak orang asli front office tu cakap "Datang Lagi" I jawab dalam hati "Boleh blahh, not in this life"

Paling best the kids boleh cakap okay this time we all ikut cakap Mommy and Daddy, datang sini, next time tolong lah bawak kita orang pergi Universal Studio or Disneyland ok, please we don wan to come here ever again, dengan mata terbeliak-beliak.

Misi yang gagal. Hampeh