Kenapakah????

My fren tag me a photo on FB masa zaman kat Uni dulu, time kita orang terjebak dalam aktiviti tidak sihat iaitu ala ala Beauty Pageant Muslimah wakaaaakakahaa , ye joloklah tekak korang sebab aku pun nak muntah hijau bila mengingatkan betapa tak sihatnya minda aku dulu (macam sekarang ni sihat sangat kan).

Muslimahlah sangat kalau pakai kebaya ketat ngan kain belah kan kan...waaaa tak boleh blah.Gediknya aku Ya Allah.

Sebenarnya, ketahuilah dunia bahawa kite orang dipaksa sebenarnya mewakili kolej kite orang, sedikit sebanyak kira kes penganiayaan la ni.

Penting juga untuk u all tahu bahawasanya baju yg I pakai tu pun nostalgic sangat ok... sebab ianya adalah baju kepunyaan Arwah Ibu my fiend yang juga telah kembali ke Rahmatullah herself a few years back. Al-Fatihah Intan Ezany.

Saper yg mulut gatal nak tanya muatkah lagi I pakai baju ni akan kukirim C4 di angin lalu untukmu ye, haipppp

*Kak Ayda and Mrs Nordin jap lagi nanti I sambung kisah jantanz miang semalam okay, peace.

Just Imagine this.....

Uihhh kematu jari penangan Air Asia Free Seat ni, menderita makcik. Oleh kerana website AA sedang jammed macam lebuhraya Bangkok, kita take five dulu lah ye dan menghapdate blog supaya orang tak benci kita.

Ada la orang tanya, mana part 2 kisah orang sakit jiwa tu, sabar ye puan2 , kasi kumpul bahan dulu. Malumlah kisah jiwa kacau kena lah buat ketika jiwa penulis juga tak berapa tune, barulah ada chemistry.

Setelah terbaca blog CPK dan Bapak Gegula mengenai gadis yang memaki hamun pakwenye di dalam LRT itew, I pun rasa terpanggil gak nak bukak hikayat.

Ramai orang kata budak tu tak malu dan bod* (kata2 cercaan haruslah di bintangkan mulai sekarang supaya tak ada muslimah solehah yang sentap membaca blog I) kecuali Nenek Penne, kan dear??.

Bak kata Nenet, korang senang la cakap sebab benda tu tak kena batang hidung korang. I bet semua yang cakap cemtu memang tak ada pengalaman langsung berhadapan dengan laki or pakwe korang yang di caught red handed melakukan jenayah cinta , kan Lyana kan.??

My ex inlaw telah menangkap lakinya sedang merendek di dalam kereta di tepian Tasik Taiping lagi kau...masa tu she was still in her confinement. What say U??? She gagahkan diri bawak motor skodeng lakinya only to find out that. She called me (awat la she chose to call me first, mak emo okay) . I was so shocked and rasa nak pecah dada I. I told her to call her MIL , my MIL also la obviously kan) because tu anak dia and she have to know that her son yang divangakan sesangat tu adalah hantu berbulu babon sahaja adanya.

Tapi sayangnya jodoh tak panjang mereka bercerai gak akhirnya and simply because of that pompuan kecut. But what goes around comes around, genap setahun, that pompuan kecut left coz tak tahan hidup bersama jantanz itu. Hambekk kau.

And cerita yang paling menyayat hati. En Roberto  Carlos (cam best plak bg nama laki Roberto kan?, oklah mulai hari ini nama laki aku adalah Roberto Carlos sehingga aku revised nama lain plak) mempunyai seorang kawan baik sejak sekolah yang bininya juga telah menjadi kawan I la kan. Mamat ni kengkonon intan terpilih la, background ok, career pun ok and nampak muka baik cam Bilal Kg Dusun la lebih kurang. Tapi dah namanya jantan, bilal ka tok siak ka, tetaplah jantan jugak kan.

He cheated on her sejak they all bertunang lagi. Apakah??? Kenkononnya dia telah terlanjur mengcingtai pompuan itu and its hard to turn back poonsss la (cerca sekerat camni je boleh ke Fonzie??) Can u just imagine , malam depa nak nikah tu the pompuan came all the way check in kat hotel near the Mamat punya rumah and threatened to kill herself dengan menelan panadol 20 biji. And Mamat tu pun melayan sebab takut betol2 dia bunuh diri. Deyyyyy sengal takder der nak mati la telan panadol okay, alang2 terjun la from the Penang Bridge kalau tak mati pun nyawa-nyawa ikan or lemas tu confirm la kan.

Bila scheme jalang nya mengagalkan perkahwinan itu tidak berjaya, she has the nerve to gegar pintu pagar rumah depa in the middle of the nite. Gila Psyco.

If korang ada dalam situation his wife ni korang tak rasa nak putus nyawa kah??? Bukan setakat menjerit dalam komuter lagi I rasa, boleh jadi terbalik gerabak tu korang kerjakan.

Pastu senyap sekejap scandal ni. Until the wife bersalin and was sent back to her parents masa confinement.

Being a woman and a wife, instinct adalah tinggi dan berbio aura kan, so she sensed something wrong somewhere.

Tabah lah the wife datang from upnorth via bus express to KL sebab nak raid laki dia. Seperti biasa, siapa yang diajak untuk menjadi spy a.k.a partner in crime??? Of courselah your truly. Pasai apa lah asyik aku je orang nak ajak masa kejadian2 tak comey macam ni, masa pi rambu ramba, lupa plak kat aku ye.

We went to the house (masa ni lakinya sewakan 2 bilik to his friends sejak sebelum depa kawin coz wifey still studying masa tu and menyewa with her friends until she balik kampung to deliver).

I ni dah lemah lemau ketaq lutut semua dah, but she sooo calm and cool.Respect .

Masa kat sana, one of his uncle ada kat rumah tu but chose to upheld his constitutional right to remain silent, cam setannn.

The laki occupy the master bedroom yang sepatutnya menjadi bilik the wife lah when she balik from confinement. But to our dismay the room was locked.

She was so curious to see what's inside (and aku pun sama la kan ) so using a hammer yang dipinjamkan from the Uncle yang chose to remain silent tu (ada unsur paksaan di situ and mungkin juga melihat potensi we all boleh menjadi perempuan gila) we managed to menanggalkan tombol pintu.

Wahhh nak pengsann I bila nampak things that look like bra yg tersusun kat rack dalam bilik tu. Oh copot jantungku Kris Dayanti weiii. And masa tu I cant explain how I felt, sedih sangat. I told my friend to sabar tapi I was chocking with tears myself. I imagined if En Roberto Carlos yang buat perangai huduh tu, what would happen to me and how would I handle situation like that.

But she said nothing, still calm I guess, but I can see clearly in her eyes hatred and frustration, hurt.

She didnt call and yelled at her laki in the LRT, no. But using the hammer she break the bedroom door. Yess , all by herself. So dont underestimate a woman's strengh okay especially when she was heart broken and especially when she is her confinement, MEROYAN that is.

So we got our selves in. And betul lah bra, panties , baju pompuan tu, her expensive perfumes semua ada dalam bilik tu. Obviously she was living with him!!!

Imagine, imagine. Sigh, I just dont have the heart to continue my story......

Aunty Mary Elizabeth

There was an Indian lady named Mary (Elizabeth tu I saja tambah supaya ianya lemak berkrim).

I met her a few times during my chambering days, those dreaded - feel like jumping from the bridge- every day-and wish I'm dead - and went to straight to heaven days.

She was always loitering around the Klang Court Complex and Commuter Station.

Easily spotted and although far from being a sight for  sore eyes, she would always get a stare from people.

A fragile looking old lady in her 60's, she would be mistaken for an older version of Cyndy Lauper (despite the colour tone lah of course).

Wearing a  hair band with lots of rose buds on her short wavy white hair with  a little bit shades of auburn here and there, she used to carry her tote bag and plastics of God knows what's inside around klang town. Her blouses would always be a bright coloured, usually orange or red and paired with a contrast knee lenght skirt and not forgetting her long bright stokings, couldnt leave home without it.

Many at times, she was seen talking to herself babbling and murmuring something. Some would referred her as senile old woman.

I doubted that. There was nothing wrong with her I think, well maybe she had a weird sense of fashion. Beside that for me she was just a lonely old woman with lot of stories to tell, and she had a kind of thick British accent like Jaime Oliver (is that what u call cockney Esah??) She was no doubt, one classy babe.

Sometimes she was okay, friendly and easy. But sometimes she would be so grumpy and scolded every body around her.

Once,  she came to my office,my my. Terkezuttt mak. Whatever for lah that brought her there.

She gave a long lecture to one of my staff upon seeing her drinking air sirap. She said that air sirap contained some artificial colouring that may caused cancer and bla bla the sermont continued.

I must admit, I never had a pleasant thought about that woman before, but upon listening to her babbling about health , I changed  my perspective towards her. Mana ada orang gila cemtu kan, gila bayang mungkin la.

She went to see my senior clerk asking whether she could serve a summon against British Immigration for denying her an entry to London simply because they "dont see that she had a proper business" to go there. LOL. Maybe they were judging her look, or maybe she was imagining things, I dont know.

Then , I saw her at the commuter station. I just came back from Klang Court and going to Court Mammoth he he tak ler. My friend and I was on our way to the Bar Council in KL when she approached us.

She saw our files and suddenly freaked out saying that lawyers are liars. She continued cursing and we were like, oh mati la kita  kemaluan di situ because people were staring. And did I mentioned it was raining??? Oh tragis sekali bila dua orang gadis  (ke?) dimarah oleh seorang nenek yang berbaju merah, berskirt hijau, berstoking kuning dan berpayung ceti di dalam hujan renyai-renyaian.We couldnt go any where since it was raining and we had no umbrella.

Surprisingly, when the train came, she hurried us and insisted to memayungi kami berdua, ohwww baik la pulak nenek ni, tadi marah macam nak mak si tenggang nak menyumpah anaknya menjadi batu .

In the train, she sat behind us walaupun I berdoa supaya scene lecturing di luar tadi tidak diteruskan di dalam gerabak pulak.

We heard that she was talking to a group of Kelantanese chap whom were making fun of her. Kesian la plak.

Those boys were eating buah salak and she asked the name of the fruit. They said in pure Kelantanese English "This is buoh salak or sometimes we called ular sawo becos it look like ular sawo"

And they gave her some to try but she didnt liked it.

She got down somewhere soon but before that, she hand us a few cents, RM1 coins and a few more.

U wont believed it , she wanted us to donate the money to whatever fund to help nail the killer of Allahyarham Suzaily , a girl who was brutally raped and murdered by a bus driver tuh.

She was not just one classy babe, but she was good at heart too.

That was the last time I saw her. Soon after, I heard she was killed in a fire. She was alone in the house, trapped. And obviously she was living alone.

R.I.P Aunty Mary.

Dunia Hari Ini Dipenuhi oleh Orang Yang Sakit Jiwanya - part 1

I was telling my dearest friends Kay and TM the other day on my feelings towards manusia yang berhasad dengki dan busuk hati kepada orang lain. And they encouraged me to pen it down in my blog, well , itulah gunanya kita berblog pun kan, to share our thoughts and feelings with OUR friends.

Just as I intended to do the same, I saw a comment on my previous post from this orang cacat otak yang tetiba sakit hati kat I although I dont even know her/him and mengutuk-ngutuk I kat MY BLOG. Sungguh mulia dan terpuji si dia itu yang siap cakap I ni kena tahan kastam sebab banyak dosa. Wah, malaikat pun tak boleh determine and mengukur dosa insan, apatah lagi manusia, and this person can!!! Amazing.. betul, nampaknya blog I semakin popular , tidak sahaja dibaca oleh manusia malahan makhluk lain juga. Sila tepuk semua orang... I pun cadangkan pada si FONZIE ni, tukarlah nama menjadi MAKSUM yang bermaksud suci daripada dosa, buat apa letak nama cam Yahudi bukak kedai roti.

Atau mungkinkah dia ni Fasha Sandha yang retaliate kat I sebab I join group "I hate Fasya Sandha "  on FB hari tu?? Atau dia jeles sebab Kak Ji Esah and CK ajak I ngedate?? Apakah ? Apakah??

 What beats me is wujudnya manusia2 yang tak ada kerja but to baca blog orang dan mengutuk2 blogger yang langsung tak dikenali. As if they are so full of hatred and try to luahkan all the kebencian and ill feelings towards apa2 tah yang terjadi dalam hidup mereka dalam komen box orang, contohnya mungkin dia pernah didera atau dicabul agaknya kot. So sickening.

I know ramai my blogger friends dah kena serangan penyakit ni, Bapak Gegula, Kak Ezza, Kak Shana and Anija to name a few.Even Kak Nani yang rupawan and pandai masak tu pun ada orang sakit hati.

My question is why ada orang gila yang berpenyakit gila vavi camni??? Daripada mana asal usul penyakit itu?? Daripada kandang vavi kah???Tapi kenapa tauke vavi tak pernah pun kena serang penyakit ni.

Enough about this orang kurang upaya otak.Lepas ni korang buat blog sendiri pastu kutuk lah semua blogger yg korang tak berkenan, pastu advertise blog korang kat bill board tepi hi way Utara-Selatan tu, sebab sure lah semua blogger akan guna hi-way tu bila nak balik kampung kan, and jgn lupa bukak akaun nuff nang sekali, nanti kerja ko ngoblogging sesia je.Seriously, korang memang sakit, and penyakit macam ni hanyalah boleh diubati dengan kekuatan Iman dan selalu istighfar ok. Err korang tau ke istighfar tu cemana???