At hair's breadth

Have u ever in your precious life have a near to death experience? (paham kah??)

Well I did, encountered an incident that would have let me rested in peace ( or busy bersoal jawab ngan mungkar dan nangkir selama 6-7 tahun di atas dosa2 ku selama ini, ampunilah aku Ya Allah).

Maybe I have experienced it before but I could not recalled it other than this one time yang surely I will remember for the rest of my life.

It happened when we was vacationing in Krabi, Thailand, to be exact in one of the Island.

Well it happened somewhere here. Couldn't remember the name of the island as I tend to forget every unpleasant memories in my life anything related to them.

We were so happy then. Like the old saying "suka2 akibatnya duka". The water was heavenly crystal clear, you can see the fish and every underwater life inside it. The kids were exuberant. While we were busy feeding the fish, Aboy D Great went 'swimming' on his own. Guessed he was so excited as he can float due to the life jacket he was wearing.

He was drifting a little bit each time he paddled. Until he realized he was quite far from the rest of us and decided to scream for help. And Mommy the Great like a superwoman, dengan penuh rasa keibuan yang membuak buak, came to Aboy's rescue. Forgetting the fact that she couldn't swim an inch. Aboy then happy to see Mommy came while Kanda holding and managing Baby Bob & Diva. Little did I noticed that the water was so damn deep . The island was famous for its nature blessing, where you can really walk on the sand to two more islands nearby during low tide. Probably, during the 'swimming' attempt I made to save him, the water level was starting to rise.

Suddenly I realized that I was kinda frozen inside the water. Aboy was still holding my hands, but I dah tenggelam timbul. I swear I could see all the batu karang (yang mungkin dilindungi PERHILITAN Thailand) and pelbagai lagi species binatang di dalam laut everytime the tidal wave hit my face. Nasib baik aku tak nampak Arwah Nenek atau Tok Wan yang berenang ke arah aku dan menghulurkan tangan sambil berkata "come my child, follow me" (eh cakap omputeh ke Tok Wan??) Macam dalam cite apatah yang wife dia pergi beronggeng kat mane tah, pastu naik bas and the bus terbalik masuk laut, and the husband came to look for her with the belief that she was still alive. Surelah if that would have happened, kalau aku ikut memang Allahyarharmah lah aku jadinya Labu.

Back to the story, during that very situation, I sungguhlah terasa helpless and I don't really think of anything else but death. I can't think of anything actually as I was choking with salt water. From afar I saw Kanda holding my baby, and my little Diva was looking so anxiously at us. Didn't have the slightest idea of what was actually happening to me. Apa??? Taulah aku ni drama queen, tapi takkan lah time tu pun nak acting, agak2 lah.

Dan aku membayangkan had I die what would happened to my children, especially if Kanda kahwin lain..and that pompuan will probably dapat all my things, and and.....(sempat lagi tuh) aku tensentak NOOOO I can't die, not now, not today. I don't know how I get my situation under control, I remained calm and talk to Aboy, told him that I am drowning, please scream for help.

I gathered my strengh and also scream Tolong! Tolong! on top of my voice and Aboy did the same but he went "Help! Help! instead...yeah bijak anak aku, kan kita kat Thailand, dalam group tour tu hanya ada Siam, mat saleh, sorang dua Jopun and Korean. Mana la depa paham kan. Tah tah dia ingat we ols tengah menari macarena or berlatih syncronize swimming for the olympic la plak.

Aku terpandang pada Kanda, dia speechless. Terlupa la aku betapa laki ku ini memang fail bab2 kecemasan ni. If ever he becomed a doctor, keja lak ER unit, mesti kena buang keja punya sebab asyik pengsan terkejut. Aku nampak dia 'keras' kat situ. Oiii bang, at least u could do is scream la for help, I know he was holding Baby Bob and looking after Little Diva but, malas lah nak layan.

So we ols mintak tolong la kat orang lain. Then I saw 2 mat salleh came over and 2 mamat siam also. So aku pasrah membiarkan diriku dilambung ombak, sebab ada heroes on the way. I just let it go. One of the Mat salleh came and took Aboy away. The other one helped me, pulled me to a safer spot where my feet could feel the sand underneath. Tapi tak berjaya, maybe aku dah agak lemah menongkah arus, I still couldn't move so I felt that mamat siam's hand holding me, supported me from behind. But.....aiyoh why his face look like my bro in law awwwwww that made me came back to my senses. Mula2 terkejut boruk gak, adakah aku dah berada di alam barzakh ? Kenapa abang ipar aku lak ada kat sini nih....tak la pelanduk je 2 serupa.

Aku pun bangun berjalan dengan macho, eventhough mula2 nak gak purak2 pingsan sebab maluuuuuuuuu. Dah la mek mek salleh tu tak abiss dok tanya are u alright? R u ok??? Oi dah la wei aku malu nih.

Ya Allah, terasa mati hidup semula. Syukur yang teramat sangat kerana Allah memberi aku peluang kedua untuk hidup setelah merasa ambang maut. That is the real meaning or 'Horror' u know.

Balik ke hotel I sujud syukur. But tetiba (maybe due to pms) I meletup kat Kanda for not doing anything. I accused him of not caring and not loving me and just stood there watching me die. Abislah ayaq mata bercucuran bagai. Kan dah kata aku ni Drama Queen kan. Incident biasa lah tu, My kids dah terlalu used to that kind of drama, depa tak teruja pun. Bantai gelak lagi, sambil bisik2 and continued tengok movie. Ciss at least bagi la sokongan emosi kan, supaya adengan itu menjadi lebih emo. Kanda dengan muka yang sungguh serius berkata 'U tau ka apa dalam hati i???" Wei memang la tak taw, bukan ada sari kata. He went on saying he was stunned and panicked, dia startled. Tak taw nak wat apa (lagu tu rupenye laki aku panik yee) Then I ingat, masa Aboy hilang kat Giant, macam tu gak, dia macam Badut pencen dok terkedu kat one spot and muka pucat gila babi...Aku yang tersohor dengan emo yang terlampau ni plak terkedu tengok dia terkedu. At last aku yang pi cari since dia dah keras kat situ.

Actually, i understand his situation, He had 2 kids with him at that time, tak kanlah nak campak je derang and datang padaku Kanda datang! Kanda Datang kan. Tapi tulah, actually aku emo sebab aku rasa aku dah hampir nak mati, and that scared the hell out of me and seperti biasa cara aku meluahkan perasaan ialah melalui pengzahiran emosi yang terover and biasanya jugak pada Kanda lah sebab dia laki aku, kan for better for worst katanya.

Anyway, itulah cerita pengalaman pahit hidupku (macam karangan yang Aboy tulis bertajuk 'Pengalaman Cuti Sekolah' well it should be entitled Pengalaman Lemas bersama Ibuku" ha ha).

Aku masih trauma ngan peristiwa itu. I still have nightmares about it. I would cry in my sleep every time I dreamt of it and that would always made Kanda terjaga (amazing) and pulled me back in his arm. Guess Kanda is also feeling the same way. But he is the type yang kayu (emotionless) yang ko tak taw ini orang kah atau orang-orang. So u wont know what on his mind. I knew he care when he made a stern point that no more sea or beach vacation for us until we ols (including aku ayokkk) passed our swimming lessons with flying colours and endorsed by Persatuan Penyelam2 Laut Dalam, Jabatan Perikanan, Polis Marine, Persatuan Nelayan Pencen dan Tentera Laut Diraja Malaysia. ****Sigh ***** there goes my dream on Muritius and Maldives.....